I’m not ok, but I’m ok. This seems to be at odds, but a bit like superposition, both are true.
The fact is I’ll never be ok. This emptiness inside, these nightmares that follow me into the awake, this rage that I hide, but is always there… I’m not ok, and I hate the question. There is no real answer. Any answer it’s a lie or partial one.
But it’s ok. Really it is. That emptiness; it’s always been there, it always will. Those nightmares; sometimes the monster is after me, sometimes I’m the monster – either way, they’re all I know. And that rage; without it, I would have let go, so very long ago.
Don’t ask me, don’t make me lie. But know, even if I lie, I’m telling the truth. I’m not ok, but that’s the only ok I’ve ever known. So believe me when I say, I’m ok.
Antanya In The Fog said:
I don’t like that question either, for the same reason. It’s hard to be ok when you don’t know how that feels.
It makes me uncomfortable. But the reality is not ok is my baseline, so it’s kind of the truth.
Who are you? Who are you when the light catches you? I am curious….
The light never catches me