What does it say about me
When it feels like
I am only wanted
To those that are unhappy
And when happiness is found
I’m cast back aside
Back to my own dark
Wondering
Am I that broke?
What Does It Say
31 Saturday Jan 2015
31 Saturday Jan 2015
What does it say about me
When it feels like
I am only wanted
To those that are unhappy
And when happiness is found
I’m cast back aside
Back to my own dark
Wondering
Am I that broke?
28 Wednesday Jan 2015
Posted Poetry
inHow did we drift
So fucking far away
Was it something
I said
Was it something
I did
And how sad is it
That I wonder this
For so many people
No longer in my life
How many times
Have I pushed
someone away
How many times
Have I been pushed
so far away
How many times
Have I refused
to let someone in
How many times
Have I been refused
to be let in
Tell me
How did we drift
So fucking far away
25 Sunday Jan 2015
Posted Poetry
inLike most
There are many parts
To who I am
Some
(and this is hard to admit)
Aren’t so bad
Those are the parts
Filled with far too much
Empathy
Those are the parts
That volunteer
That buys a sandwich
For the homeless guy on the corner
That would give my life
To save another
But that’s only half the story
If even that
There’s the other side
Forged from a life
That’s shouldn’t have been lived
Skimming
Just below my skin
It is filled
With wrath and rage
An anger
That’s hard to control
It scratches and digs
Trying to get out
This is the side
That wants to hurt
Those it thinks deserve
It wants to punish
To pull flesh from bone
To set fire
And watch it all burn
These two sides
They constantly battle
Tearing me apart
Ripping me
From the inside out
This battle
Well never have a winner
It is a battle
That can never be won
25 Sunday Jan 2015
Posted Poetry
inTags
A brief stop
Between there
And who knows where
Here and there are temporary
They always have been
And always will be
So I guess I knew
Where we were
Would eventually become
A there
And so here I am
Here
A brief stop
But it’s time
To move again
Without you
You’ve already moved on
To your next there
And all I know
Is that it isn’t here
Where ever you are
I hope you’re happier there
Than I am here
23 Friday Jan 2015
Sometimes
The only thing
We can do
Is turn it all off
And keep moving forward
Survival is a tricky thing
Sure
You go on living
But too often
You don’t feel like
You survived
The thing you survived
At least not on the inside
And so
I’ll take a breath
Maybe two
And turn things off
And take a step forward
I have no idea
If it’s the right direction
But really
Anyplace is better than here
I have no doubt
That I’ll look over my shoulder
From time to time
Remembering where I was
Where I’ve been
That’s the thing about surviving
You always seem to leave
A trail of blood
To remind you
The things you’ve survived
21 Wednesday Jan 2015
Tags
Let me dream your nightmares
And take away your terror
You dream of butterflies
While I nightmare the dragons
Let me dream your nightmares
And suffer your pain
You dream of meadows
While I nightmare the storm
Let me dream your nightmares
And fight your demons
You dream of whispers
While I nightmare the screams
Let me dream your nightmares
And soak up your fears
You dream of smiles
While I nightmare the tears
21 Wednesday Jan 2015
Posted Poetry
inDon’t look for meaning
In my words
My mind is filled
With such anger and vitriol
Swirls of emotions
I’ll never understand
Don’t look for meaning
In my words
They slide out
And like my mind
They slip further
And further away
Don’t look for meaning
In my words
The good maybe
Might be for you
But the bad
Are only for me
Don’t look for meaning
In my words
They are just a reflection
Of the endless chaos
In my mind
And they have no meaning
(to anyone
other than me)
19 Monday Jan 2015
Posted Poetry
inTags
Often times
My nightmares feel
As though they
Are more aware of me
Than I am of them
As if they know
I am the dreamer
And I haven’t figured out
That they are the dream
Even after
It should be over
And my eyes are open
Traces of the nightmares
Linger
And they taunt me
Even after I awaken
Especially
After I have awaken
17 Saturday Jan 2015
Posted Poetry
inTags
You hurt me once
But only because
I let you in
A little too far
It’s been a while
Since I’ve let fingers
Curl around my heart
I’m not ok
At least not yet
But I will be soon
And while
I’ll always love you
You’ll not get the chance
To hurt me again
16 Friday Jan 2015
Tags
The nights
Are always
Hardest
When my mind drifts
Nightmares claim me
And all I can do
Is wonder
Why it all broke
But the fool in me
Still craves the night
As it still
Craves you