A setting sun
But I can’t see
A rising moon
But I can’t see
I’m alone
In this dark room
There are
No doors
There are
No windows
And I can’t remember
If my eyes are open
Or if they’re still closed
And I guess one day
It just stopped mattering
The world just fades
When you’re alone
In this dark room

Of all the things
That break us
I think maybe the worst
Are the almost’s

Those words
You almost spoke
Her heart
That almost fell
Your heart
You almost gave
That love
That almost was
The life
You almost had

How many almost’s
Can we endure
How many almost’s
Before we break
Beyond repair
How many nights
Must we wonder
What almost
Might have been

It isn’t that
I want to die
It isn’t that
I want to live
And I guess that
Is the issue
It’s simply that
I exist
It’s simply that
I survive
This day passes
Into the next
I don’t know that
I feel too much
I don’t know that
I feel too little
I float along here
In some kind of limbo

I thought taking a break would help. I used to feel the urge to write again when I walked away before. Now I can’t even find a spark.

Who am I again? No one important. No one deserving over 20k followers, that’s for sure. I’ve been asked that before. I was no one then. I’m no one now. I don’t mean that in a “ooh, I’m emo sad” way, rather an existential “the universe is too big, too loud, and it’s emptied me out” kind of way.

I’m just some asshole wearing masks that sometimes needed to spill things out. I’ve spilled what I can I think.

I still have a week (I think) before the deactivation of final.

For tonight at least, I’ll let the empty win.

I’m not sure
Which is stronger
The tidal pull of her
An unending ache

Or darkness’s gravity
Dragging me
Into my own abyss

And too many nights
I lay awake wondering
If they aren’t the same