I’m not looking for death
I’m just not afraid of it
And won’t be sad
When it comes

I don’t walk towards it
But nor do I walk away
It dances in my mind
More than it should

And I’m not sure
I’ve ever said
Anything more honest
In all my life

These are the thoughts
That swim through my mind
At 3AM in between
My bitter midnightmares

I’ve walked past your grave
A million times
And talked to you
In my head
But I can’t seem
To get the courage
To visit you for real
Somehow I fear
It will make it
More real than it is
At least when I visit you
In my mind
You still still talk back