I see you standing over there with your head tilted slightly down and my heart starts to race. I don’t know if you see me yet, but in seeing you I am flooded feelings I can’t explain. What am I doing here? What is going to happen?
Silently I step closer, but not so silent that you can’t hear me – I want you to sense my approach. Standing in front of you I wonder if you can hear the thunder that is my heartbeat, or if you can hear the catch in my breath. Tilting your head up our eyes met.
If I have ever seen anything quite as beautiful as your eyes I don’t remember it. They have a gravity all their own, pulling me in. Slowly I raise my right arm, fingertips barely touching your forearm, they trace up your arm, sliding over your shoulder, play across your collarbone, caress your neck so lightly you aren’t sure if you’re imagining it… up the back of your neck, into your hair that feels silky in my fingers.
Firmly with my hand in your hair I pull your head in closer to mine. For the briefest of moments I feel you resist, but only for a split second, then you allow me to draw you in, closer.
My right hand is still gently on the back of your head, my left, though you have no idea how or when it got there, is gently caressing your back, my fingertips are gliding back and forth, up and down.
Still staring into my eyes you think I am going to kiss you then and there, but I don’t. I stop a fraction of an inch away, our lips so close we can “feel” them without touching. I can feel your warm breath. I breathe you in, in a deep, slow breath. I tilt my head down, past your cheek, to just below your ear and breath you back out.
My breath is hot against your earlobe, your neck. Still though, my lips don’t touch you. I can feel your breathing quicken and your body is pressed up against mine so tight that we feel each other’s hearts beating. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, I draw my lips back towards yours… when I get close you get impatient, lean forward but I pull back… not yet…
You close your eyes, barely able to contain yourself. Then slowly you feel the first touch of my lips. Barely, just barely, I slide both of my lips, first across your upper lip, then across your lower lip. Not a kiss, not yet.
Then you feel my tongue, warm and wet, slip across your lower lip, caressing your lower lip till it reaches your upper lip, still not a kiss, not yet. You let out a sound, somewhere between a moan and a whimper… a sound that is begging me to stop teasing you.
Suddenly, without warning my hand in your hairs grips hard, my hand on your back has managed to side down to your ass (even though you don’t remember it sliding down there) and grips hard. I pull you in, my mouth crashing against yours, thrusting my tongue in your mouth. Finally… Finally we are kissing.
Our tongues are desperately sliding across each other, sliding in and out of each other’s mouth, silky and warm. Your hand has made it to my neck; you are pulling me in closer, desperately trying to pull our bodies closer even though they can’t possibly get any closer.
I suck on your tongue, tasting it, and then forcefully my tongue goes back to your mouth dancing with yours. Eventually I ease up, not to break the kiss, but to savor it. I let my mouth and tongue explore you, tasting your lips, sucking on them, tasting your cheek, your neck, your ear… I nibble on your ear, my tongue hot against your lobe, then down your neck, to your collar bone, tasting your skin, caressing your skin with my lips and tongue.
We break for a second, pulling back to stare into each other’s eyes, searching – Should we be doing this? Is this right? Almost as if our thoughts are one, we decide we don’t give a fuck, and desperately, as if this would be the last kiss either of us ever had for the remainder of our lives, we lock again… our tongues dancing again, our hands exploring each other…
After an eternity, but one that didn’t last nearly long enough, and several failed attempts to draw back from each other, we finally break away, both of us gasping for breath, our hearts pounding so hard that surely they are going to explode.
We stare into each other’s eyes, letting or breathing settle, our pulses slow to normal. We don’t talk; both of us realizing a word had not been exchanged this whole time, and just stare into each other’s eyes. There are no words to be said, none capable of capturing that moment.
Silently I walk away, stealing glances over my shoulder, catching you stealing glances at me. As I am walking I am wondering if I will ever get to kiss you again, wondering if you are wondering the same thing.