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Wounded Memories

~ Anonymous place to let spill my wounded memories

Wounded Memories

Monthly Archives: December 2014

Control

11 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Poetry

Sometimes it feels like
I have everything
Under control
All these moving pieces
Grasped firmly
In my hands

Other times it feels like
Things are violently
Out of control
All these moving pieces
Spinning wildly
Out of my grasp

Maybe control
Was always an illusion
And I never had any
To begin with
Maybe knowing
Everything is out of control
It’s the closest thing
To real control
That I’ve ever had

The part that scares me
Terrifies me even
Is that these two things
Often feel the same
These days
I can’t seem to be able
To tell the difference

My Mind

11 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Musings

≈ 2 Comments

My mind, it’s a dangerous thing. It goes places it shouldn’t, and often lingers in them.

It goes back to memories, ones I wish I could forget: A dark and dusty room that would be the first of many broken pieces of me; a cemetery with too many people that managed to feel like the emptiest place on earth; trapped in a small dark closet; a blade piercing my skin; blood on my hands not my own; and how the light faded from eyes staring into mine.

Too many places, each darker than the last. The more I try to leave it all behind the more these memories seem to haunt me. To taunt me.

But lately, I wish it wouldn’t, but too often it goes back, replays us. Trying to figure out when and how things got to the way they did. Always trying pinpoint the thing I did, the thing I said that set the end in motion. Did I know the consequences when I did or said it?

My mind gets so lost in you, completely and utterly. Distance has not mended these memories, time has not dulled this ache.

And so softly, slowly, it feels like my mind is killing me, and all I can seem to do is is wonder – how can I help it along today.

But it’s ok… this is just like every other day.

Her Name

11 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

≈ 4 Comments

Her name
Etched deeply
Inside my veins
Each beat
Of my heart
Says her name
Sometimes
In a soft whisper
Sometimes
In a deafening roar
Always
In a melody
I crave to hear

Her name
Trembles
From my lips
I whisper her name
Wondering
If she hears
I growl her name
Willing her to hear
Sometimes
It sounds like want
Sometimes
It sounds like desire
Always
With an urgency
Greater than need

Wake Me Up

10 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

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Tags

dark, Poetry

Wake up
Inside of me
My darker side
Filled with demons
And dragons

They hunger
And need to devour
The darker side
Inside of you

Clenched fists
Filled with hair
And flesh
Taking from you
What you need to give

But if you aren’t
Ready to feed
My demons and dragons
Then please
Just let them sleep

Crimson Tides

10 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Poetry

I dreamt
Of crimson tides
Waves
Crashing over me
One after another

Bathed in red
Crushed
Under their weight

And I swear
I couldn’t tell
If it felt more like
Love
Or something closer
To hate

Emptiness Filling My Senses

10 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

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The taste
Of emptiness
On my tongue
And on my lips

The sound
Of emptiness
In my ears
And in my head

The sight
Of emptiness
In my present
And in my future

The feeling
Of emptiness
Across my skin
And everywhere within

The weight
Of emptiness
On my heart
And crushing my soul

I’ll Pretend

10 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Love, Poetry, Sorrow

I’ll pretend I don’t
But I do
I’ll pretend I don’t
But I always will

I’ll go on
As if everything
Is going ok
But it isn’t

I’ll smile a smile
That isn’t a smile
And laugh a laugh
That isn’t a laugh

I’ll pretend I don’t
But I do
I’ll pretend I don’t
But I always will

Love her
I do
And always will

But I’ll pretend
That I don’t
Because she needs me to

These Hands

09 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

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Tags

Anger, Love, Poetry

These hands
Have felt the soft warmth
Of love
Gentle and caressing

They have also felt
The sharp heat
Of rage
Hard and unforgiving

Both filled with a passion
Different but the same
And I don’t always know
Which I preferred the most

Without You

06 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Uncategorized

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Tags

Loss, Love, Poetry

It sometimes feels like
All my blood’s been drained
And the only thing left
Coursing through my veins
Is your name
And the only thing
Pumping through my heart
Is you

But now that
You’ve faded away
It feels like
The last parts of me
Are faded too

So now
Instead of you
All I have
Are the memories of you
And I’m not sure
That I know how to survive

So slowly I drown
Slowly I suffocate

Drowning

06 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

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Tags

Anger, Poetry

You saw me drowning
And rather than
Extend a hand
You turned your back
And let me sink

I don’t know
If it was because
You were confident
I would survive
Or if it was because
You didn’t care
If I survived or not

But I did
And I’ll never forget
The image of your back
When what I needed most
Was your hand

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