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Wounded Memories

~ Anonymous place to let spill my wounded memories

Wounded Memories

Tag Archives: Poetry

Gently She Cried

16 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Memories, Musings, Poetry

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

musings, Poetry, true story

Gently she cried
I never knew why
I just held her
Until her tears
Had dried

I never knew her name
She never knew mine
Our stories
Unknown to each other
But forever
Intertwined

This is an odd but true story. About 15 years ago I got on the metro riding home after working very late one evening.

The train was almost empty when I got on, but there was a woman sitting near the door with her head bowed down. I remember she was probably in her late 30’s, early 40’s, dark hair about shoulder length.

That was all I could tell because her head was bowed down. At first I thought she was sleeping, but after a stop or so, I noticed she was softly crying.

I don’t know why I did it, but I switched seats to sit next to her. She never looked up, I never saw her face. I leaned next to her and slid my arm around her shoulder.

In retrospect, I’m surprised she didn’t react violently… a giant 6’3 man in his mid twenties sitting down next to her putting his arm around her. We’re I in her shoes I think I might have.

But she didn’t. She leaned into me, head on my shoulder and cried.

I missed my stop, but knew I couldn’t move, so I just sat. For several stops she cried, but at some point she stopped. She still didn’t move, she just sat there. And so I sat there, not moving a muscle.

We never said a word until one of the stops she stood up, and muttered thank you without ever looking at me and she left the train. I didn’t respond. To this day I can’t remember why not. Whether I was stunned, afraid to break some spell, or simply lost in the moment, I still don’t know.

I could have gotten off, I still needed to switch trains to back tack, but I didn’t. I sat there almost stunned.

Some times I regret not speaking, not finding out more. But usually not. There is something almost spiritual about that event.

I still think about that night sometimes. Wondering what her story was. Wondering if she wonders what mine was.

It’s interesting how our lives intersect; sometimes violently, sometimes gently, almost imperceptibly.

The Way You Justified It All

15 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

dark, memories, Poetry

It always seemed so easy
The way you justified it all
No matter your actions
The fault was never your own

Breaking an already
All too broken boy
Because someone else
Had already broken you

You told your story
About how bad it was
As if that somehow
Made it all seem ok

Because they were monsters
To you as little boy
You thought it wasn’t your fault
That you had become one too

It always seemed so easy
The way you justified
Your sins against me
With the sins against you

I Know What Pain Is

13 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

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Tags

Anger, pain, Poetry, Sorrow

I know what pain is
It’s broken mirrors
And bloody knuckles

I know what pain is
It’s scattered dreams
And twisted nightmares

I know what pain is
It’s dark and dusty rooms
And innocence lost

I know what pain is
It’s a broken family
And terrible secrets

I know what pain is
It’s loving someone
And not being loved back

I know what pain is
It’s uneven graves
And tarnished headstones

I know what pain is
It’s masks with fake smiles
And the ugly truth beneath

I know what pain is
It’s who I am
And everything I’m not

I know what pain is
It’s that day you died
And I did not

Your Orbit

10 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Love, Poetry

There is
A certain pull
A gravity
I cannot escape
I keep trying
To get away
But it keeps
Pulling me back
So here I am
Circling in an orbit
Wondering what
Gives up first
Your pull on me
Or my strength
To go away
Or maybe
We are locked
In this dance
Forever

The Fading Light

09 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

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Tags

Death, Loss, Poetry, Sorrow

I have seen the fading light
From sad dying eyes
Wiped away stinging tears
Of the last mortal cries

I held her softly in my arms
As she let out her final breath
I never knew her life was troubled
I hoped she found peace in death

I thought back to all those smiles
And wondered how many were fake
How often she wore a happy mask
Just for everyone else’s sake

There was so much I didn’t know
She told me everything in a final note
I had no idea how much we shared
I’d been through everything she wrote

Her last breath I’ll remember always
She whispered softly my name
And I felt everything completely shift
Since then nothing has been the same

Waking Up

09 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

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Tags

Nightmares, Poetry

Waking up from
A bitter midnightmare
Still not sure
What is hell
And what is real

Maybe both
I still can’t tell
Broken dreams
From what
I can touch and feel

Sleep always comes
At too step as price
Reliving old memories
Opening wounds
That will never heal

Ghosts of Us

06 Saturday Sep 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

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Tags

Poetry

The ghosts of who we were
Of who we could have been
Constantly haunting
  and tormenting me
Should I exercise those spirits
Forever closing a door
That never quite opened
Or do I let them linger
Paying the price
In the currency of torment
So that I always have a piece
Of what we used to be
Of what we might have been

Losing You Again

01 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Memories, Poetry

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Tags

Loss, memories, Poetry

It’s getting harder to remember
What you looked like
I’m scared
That once I forget
You’ll be gone for good

Why is it
That the memories I want
Seem to fade away
And the memories I hate
Seem burned in, here to stay

Too many memories
More bad than good
And I wish I could pick
The ones to keep
And the ones to lose

I swear I try to keep you close
But when I close my eyes
I can’t see your eyes anymore
Please don’t leave me
Not again

It is

31 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Poetry

It’s the ache that fills every crevice of me

It’s the constant writhing of the dragons in my tummy

It’s the checking of this email every 20 minutes for the last few weeks

It’s the waking up I’m the morning and my first thought being about you

It’s the not being able to go to sleep because I’m wondering if you’re thinking about me

It’s the sorrow of knowing you are thinking about the end 

It’s the anger at the universe for its fucked up sense of humor

But it isn’t just those things

It’s the heart slipping a beat when I get a new message from you

It’s the smile on my face when I *know* you’ve been thinking about me

It’s the amazing fact that I not only had a dream, but a fucking amazing one about you

It’s the growl of your name tumbling from my lips

It’s the excitement I get when you talk about the was I make you feel

It’s the swelling of my heart when I know you feel down and I wish nothing more than to be there for you to hold you

It’s the warm feeling I get every time I think about you which is all the time

It’s the curiosity of how exactly I came love you, but acceptance of it

I Just Don’t Know How

26 Tuesday Aug 2014

Posted by woundedmemories in Poetry

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Tags

Poetry

I just don’t know how
To stop hurting you
When it feel like every word
Brings you more misery

I just don’t know how
To stay very far away
How can I heal
All the things I’ve broke

I just don’t know how
I can make this alright
And make you feel
Like you’re whole once more

Please tell me how
I can hold you in my hands
There I go again
Bringing nothing but ache and pain

And I really don’t know how
To stop loving you
Even though I know
It’s slowly breaking you down

All I do know
Is that you didn’t scare me away
Even though I can’t say
I didn’t scare you

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